Posted on Tuesday, October 10th, 2006 at 1:41 am by admin
I woke up this morning and turned on the TV. As with every other morning before it I started to nod off again, there’s something about early morning TV shows that encourages you to sleep — maybe it’s that Fiona Phillips women. Anyway, just as I’m settling down for a wee morning snoozette I became aware of a great evil. Suddenly I felt a shiver run down my spine. Infront of me I could see a red mist rolling over the Lancastrian horizon and hear the faint footfalls of some heavily laden beasts. Then all became clear. Somehow North Korea had test fired a nuclear weapon — who in the name of Jehova gave these people nukes? A couple of decades ago the most technologically advanced weapon in the whole of Korean involved a great deal of elastic and some bits of bamboo. Finding out that North Korea had let one off was somewhat disturbing, but not as disturbing as the wave of nausea that flowed over me when I realized what had to come next.
Posted on Sunday, May 7th, 2006 at 9:01 pm by Philip Devitt
Another weekend is over and we’re steam-rollering into the summer season — it’s not that I hate summer time, far from it, the longer, brighter days are a lot less miserable than the winter equivalent, its just that with the sun comes exhaustingly hot days, sleepless sweaty nights and a new wave of those little buzzing bleeders know as wasps.
There’s nothing worse than waking up to *that* humming noise, and listening intensly to try and figure out where it is and more importantly which way its heading. I know they are smaller than me and that the harm they could do would be short lived, its just a matter of the inconveniance of finding a slipper/newspaper/book and clearing the resultant mess made when its tiny body is rapidly introduced to my weapon of choice and the window.
Of course, wasps aren’t the only creature to come out at summer. I’ve also got to contend with ants, flying ants, arrogant little bleeders that stubbornly try to invade the house every year. Nothing stops ‘em, not bleach, not ant powder, possibly not even molten lava, though I’ve not got any actual lava to test the theory.
Speaking of hot places, the Australian government announced last 
week that they are to allow any holiday workers to apply for up to a years extension to their visa if they spend part of their time working within certain seasonal and agricultural sectors. Full details of the Australian visa extension scheme are available on the BBC’s website.