I woke up this morning and turned on the TV. As with every other morning before it I started to nod off again, there's something about early morning TV shows that encourages you to sleep -- maybe it's that Fiona Phillips women. Anyway, just as I'm settling down for a wee morning snoozette I became aware of a great evil. Suddenly I felt a shiver run down my spine. Infront of me I could see a red mist rolling over the Lancastrian horizon and hear the faint footfalls of some heavily laden beasts. Then all became clear. Somehow North Korea had test fired a nuclear weapon -- who in the name of Jehova gave these people nukes? A couple of decades ago the most technologically advanced weapon in the whole of Korean involved a great deal of elastic and some bits of bamboo. Finding out that North Korea had let one off was somewhat disturbing, but not as disturbing as the wave of nausea that flowed over me when I realized what had to come next. Enveloped in a cloud of red, white and blue smoke I could see a lone figure on the horizon. The figure held aloft a six shooter and let off a few of his own. George "Dubya" Bush was on the case; he'd teach these commie bastards a thing or two about kicking nuclear ass. I started to think back to Star Wars and the rise of the Empire; I'm just waiting for the moment that Dubya is voted special emergency powers by the senate and orders a clone army of Jarheads to fight the good fight for democracy, for world peace, for the oil (wait, thats not right). I've just taken a quick look on digg.com and am proud to see that one of the bonus elements to come out of the destruction of New Orleans (remember that place, the one which Duyba left to hang out to dry -- literally). It appears that the influx of out-of-state workmen has significantly raised the level of prostitution in the City. I've never really seen the problem with prostitution, as long as the girl/guy involved is doing so willingly then why should there be such a moral issue. Let's face it, I whore myself out to a large corporate every day, eeking away my soul and dignity with each mindless policy and procedure I'm forced to endure. I think the problem of prostitution boils down to old religious bigotry. A long, long time ago, in a fallacy far, far away, a bunch of really insecure beardy blokes got together around a campfire and decided that they were giving too much denari to the local whores and were basically being treated like a bunch of bitches -- they were brassic man, stoney broke. I feel it is my duty to state that these beardly blokes are not related to the biker/beer-swigging, happy beardy blokes that I've spoke of earlier -- they are quite happy to throw their denari at a frolicking fillie. So, back to the ancient beardy blokes, they got their heads together and came up with a plan that would ensure all the other men wouldn't want to give money to women and make the ladies feel inferior -- they were going to make whoring an offence to God/Yahweh/Allah -- needless to say, deities don't visit women -- that'd be soooo wrong cause they are dead duurty, so women will just have to believe the beardy ones, or be stoned to death as disbelievers. Of course, men are men, and some of the beardy blokes had great difficultly in keeping their boners in their robes. They started to get all embarrased having giant boners in the presence of their camels, so they decree'd that God/Yahweh/Allah had commanded them that all women should cover there face along with the rest of their body to avoid temptation, and that whores should be cast aside, so far aside that they wouldn't even accrue taxation. Back in the real world, I've got some advice for you: If you don't want to see women, cut out your own eyes; if you don't want to embarass your camel with your tiny boners cut off your cocks -- don't oppress or brainwash your women into believing that wrapping themselves in acres of body-condoms are good thing for them.